feeling like it

Ever not feel like it? Sometimes I don’t feel like being sexual, or kissing, or cooking, or talking, or listening. What do I do then? Sometimes I do it anyways. The end result for a relationship can be remarkable. It’s a gift to my partner(s).

Sometimes it’s late at night, and I’m tired. I don’t feel like kissing. But if I sense that he does, I go with it. Linger a bit longer. Because I love him, and know that he’ll feel loved by me. Bonus: the feeling often kicks in. Action sometimes precedes the feeling. A couple of spare minutes can go a long way.

Another time I might be getting home from work frazzled and ungrounded. But he’s excited to tell me something about his day. I can listen for a couple of minutes and take joy in his joy. I might not be able to give him 20 minutes of listening right then, but I can do a couple of minutes, even when I’m not feeling it, before I head over to take a shower and unwind. Because I love him.

Maybe I don’t feel like cuddling and having sex at all times. But if he crawls into bed and wraps his arms around me, puts his groin up to my ass, suddenly I feel like it a bit more. On those occasions when I’m still not feeling it, I allow it because he’s my man. I want to encourage him. I want him to encourage me when the tables are reversed.

Say I decide to hook up with someone from online. I turn off my computer and start getting ready to head over to his place. But somewhere along the way my libido decreases and I don’t feel like it. Do I cancel the hook up or dog him (not show up)? My take is no. I said I was going to. For me there’s often a period on the way there, whether it be to a hook up, the dance floor, or to a new social experience, where my feelings aren’t matching the direction my body is going. But because I gave my word, I go, and 95% of the time I have a marvelous time, and I’m glad that I went. If I wasn’t going to go, then I don’t say that I’m going to go.

My point is that we do things we don’t feel like doing sometimes. We treat people kindly (everyone, not just our life partner-s), keep our word, and give of ourselves even when we don’t feel like it every minute. Sometimes even sex starts without a strong feeling. A gift, a little leap. The feeling usually follows!

It is my expectation too that when someone says they'll do something, they'll follow through, even if the don't - every minute - feel like it.