how to hook-up without saying a word

A friend a while back asked how to hook up. He is by no means timid, and gets laid often, so I was surprised by the genuine question. He'd never hooked up at a gym, park, or other spontaneous place. And wanted to change that. Hooking up is to have a sexual experience, mostly just for the fun of it. He wanted some pointers on the art of hooking up in person, where in some settings almost no words are said. But a lot is communicated.

We rehearsed first the showers in the gym where we both work out at. There are two rows of showers, both potentially looking out onto eachother. The shower curtains can be left open, or drawn shut, depending on your intentions. There are a lot of ways to do it, but this is my take. Choose a shower stall with views to a couple other stalls. Leave the shower curtain half-way open. That way if someone attractive showers across the way, you can exchange curiosities, or draw the curtain if not interested.

If the other guy also leaves the curtain partially or all the way open, that's a good sign. He's potentially "saying" - I'm interested too. I personally only leave the curtain part-way open. It's usually the too-obvious staring-at-everyone way-out-of-shape-guy that signals his desperation with almost everything he does that does this. Leaving the curtain part-way open also gives me more discrete options of closing it a little, without seeming too rude, or opening it a little, being more inviting. They're all pretty clear signals for most people. Open means: I'm open to something (generally). Closed: closed for business.

This is the first of signals. I need to get several fairly obvious signals before I start something. Imagine coming on to a really open European guy, who is used to more nudity, and more public showers, but who is straight. I don't want to jump into his stall with only the curtain signal. So onto other signals...

With the curtains open, we can see eachother. I'll glance briefly at him. (Important step. Alot of this is done with the eyes.) But then continue with my shower.  I don't want to creep him out by staring. Maybe turn and give him an opportunity to look at my body, and not get caught looking at me. And show off a tiny bit, whether it be my shoulders, ass, pecs, legs, cock. Then turn naturally, and glance his way. Maybe he's doing some of the same. I take my time putting on the soap and rubbing it in.

On my face I'm trying to look approachable, friendly. If his curtain is still open, and he's looking in my direction, I want him to catch me looking at him. Here and there, increasingly. Now I can look up at his eyes, and maybe smile or nod my head hello. Briefly. If he's not nervous, or returns the greeting, you've now had several signals that things are going well. (Open curtain, glancing at eachother semi-obviously, non-verbal acknowledgement with smile or nod.) There's chemistry.

Next signal: see if there's increased sexual energy. Up to now, a few minutes into it, less than five usually, its been not-too-heavy on the erotic. Now some more soap might go on the inner thighs. The penis really needs cleaned :). Your ass really needs cleaned :). A boner is cool about now. (Right to start off with might have been too forward, with no clear signals that it was okay.) Increased eye contact now is intentional, especially if it is returned.

From here, it's pretty clear that you're both wanting to hook up. You could just do a simple wank for eachother in the shower. Hot enough. Or, if the shower stall is private enough, and you're not going to get in trouble for it, signal that he come on over. More than likely though you'll want to head out together for some more personal touching and alone time. So you could signal a "let's head out?" gesture, and if he's game, you both do. Usually there's other people around, and you don't want to intrude on their experience. You might dress, and then wait up front, or linger combing your hair and head out when he does. If everything still seems okay, you'll more than likely get your first words in outside, heading to the cars, or public transport.

A lot of guys are nervous, but want to do this, and are glad if you help put them at ease and be friendly and normal. Say hello, introduce yourself, smile. Treat him well, and he'll treat you real well in the bed hopefully within a few minutes!

Alot of these principles can apply in the park (though I've only done that twice), at the beach, in stalled traffic, etc. Be careful about places where it's illegal and there might be coys to trap such activities (think airports). For obvious reasons society is trying to keep explicit sexual activity out of the eyes of mainstream unsuspecting masses going about their daily activities. I believe that there is nothing wrong with the activities, just that there is a time and a place. A lot can be communicated with eyes, friendly nods, body, lingering, making your wants known non-verbally. And waiting for reciprocation before going forward.

There will be times when a potentially unwanted partner appears. Signals can be given here non-verbally as well. Avoid eye contact. Close the curtain. Turn away. Don't linger. Make it clear, but polite too. Most people get the message.


My friend was jubilant to announce that he had hooked up from the showers. He went on a little spree trying out his new skills.