impressed

xanarchist on dn - posted with his permission

I'm often impressed by the coolness and approachability of many beautiful guys. Take Patrick for example, who's also got a sexy body with an amazingly proportioned butt. Aaargh, makes me jump inside :). Not everyone is into butts. But some of us really are!

closeted weird fantasies



The closet does funky things to many of us. Living in secrecy. Yet having all of these sexual desires with no outlet. Our mind tries to come up with outlets, however outlandish, or risky, dangerous, illegal, seemingly out-of-line with our image, or whatever.

A while ago I was helping a very physically sick gentleman, accomplished and prestigious, in line with my work. When his wife was not there he'd subtly expose himself to me as I completed my tasks. When other workers entered the room, he'd cover himself. It's as if he was trying to start something. I was surprised, in a way, because of his position, leadership, image, and crisp insightful mind in other realms. Of course I didn't act on it. Just found myself amused and thinking.

But not really surprised either.

I can remember when I wasn't out to myself or others. I had some pretty far-out fantasies, most of which I'm embarassed to share. My sexual energy was still high. Consciously I was trying to squelch it. Subconsciously, this energy was trying to find expression. One fantasy I had was to buy and place a remote microphone near the bed of a friend I had a crush on. So that I could hear his sexual activity. Another fantasy was to find cum on his underwear. Etc. Etc.

Other fantasies that people have involve being fucked or fucking someone you don't know, finding the door open, doing it, then leaving, or gloryholes, or airport stall ventures (talk about risky), or sex with animals, or sex with children (talk about illegal), or copulation with people who don't decide to be a part of it, or paying for sex, etc. I won't get into all of it, nor pass judgement, but simply note that some things are illegal, some things are non-consensual, and that there are more direct methods of having a beautiful experience that you'll feel good about after, and can look back with no regret, and have again with that person if you both want.

When I read in the newspaper about adult men who have sex with a child on the down-low, or any other sort of disproportionate power-play, besides feeling for the victim, I often think how much more fulfilled that man might be by seeking adult consensual sex. Maybe I'm being simplistic. I wonder how much horrific crime we could prevent by encouraging openness and "healthy" sex. Oppressive religions or codes don't help by censoring this topic and forbading its expression for entire swaths of a person's life - pre-marriage, etc. Or for entire lifetimes: priests, widows, divorcees, etc. Maybe we'd have less sex crimes?

Now that I have plenty of sex of a direct nature, most of these more side-ways fantasies for getting sex have evaporated. Instead of imagining, I request it with a consensual partner, and feel fulfilled. I like this much more direct method of need fulfillment.

To not be misunderstood, I think that there still is a healthy place for specific likes and fantasies, among them consensual bondage, I find harnesses very sexy, group scenarios, blindfolds, specific likes for feet, or whatever other parts. Other people get into specific sexual acts that while I don't yet have an interest for, I respect them and am glad that they bring enjoyment. There's a huge world to explore.

I feel for the closeted guys - and gals - who live one life publicly, and yet are trying to find quieter and round-about ways of hearing their sexual voice. Screaming sexual voice in some instances. The politician or minister. The bored spouse. The "good boy." The leader in his field with a certain image. Or whatever construct people have in their heads. I see them all around me. I've been there too.

My belief is that many of our leaders with charisma and gift to the world also have a high libido, or drive for intimacy, whatever you want to call it. Genius or affinity in many realms. Examples, in my mind, are John F. Kennedy, Martin Luther King Jr., Gandhi, Bill Clinton, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson. Many of these men had non-conventional approaches to intimacy, and whether by conscious intention or "slip of character" expressed themselves so. My view is that there is nothing "wrong" or "right" about parts of this, that it just is, and that it is suits us to take a look at it and be awake about what we're doing. The world is a safer place when there's plainspoken, heart-honest dialogue.

Not everyone has as high of libido. Examples abound here too.

One solution for those of us that think about sex often is to give it expression. Consciously. Honestly. In a way that is self-honoring first, and honoring of others.

Another thing is to not get caught up on the person. Attached beyond reason. This I've only learned by doing it poorly myself first. There are so many beautiful people out there, many of whom one can have a sexual / intimate experience with just by asking. Some will say no. Some will say yes. That's okay. In some ways its a numbers game. You go through a number of contacts until you find the right match / matches. In this age when technology connects people of certain interests amazingly, it is freeing to realize that there are many wonderful guys out there just like me/you. And that our desires can be met superbly.



one of the sweetest photos I've taken

friends with benefits

from nychottop on dn's website: http://www.myspace.com/morisona

Some people say that sex between friends ruins things. My experience has not been so. In fact, it's some of my favorite moments of intimacy. It sweetens things tremendously. And looking back, are some of the experiences that get me hard just thinking about them, months later.

Recently I had the good fortune to fuck dancing partnered leader beau. Him curled up under me moaning, wow. Knowing him, having been to his place, been to lunch, hiked with friends, made it all the more meaningful.

Then with techy foodie artist cyclist sunbather got to chat and try on harnesses. Later we sat on his bed and stroked eachother, then ourselves to cum. I like that most of our interaction has been non-sexual, creative, and feels like friends.

My brother-friend traveler attention-whore at a party (he'd read this and agree) is someone I love and fight with like a brother - in the past. We met years ago and have been close. He really is like my brother. And after talking opened up to some physical intimacy a couple times while in a group. We'd been consciously avoiding it, but then decided that we were big enough to handle it. It in fact was very sweet, and hasn't changed much. If anything we're amused, and it allows us more scenarios as fellow adventurers.

I met waiter bi cuddler texter sexually first. He's not someone I would have typically met. We've met a handful of times since, helped eachother through an STD scare, and I've relished bottoming for him. Culturally he's very sweet and whispers cute things. It's a friendship. In this case a friendship more hyped around sex, still, an affection and esteem.

The man that I cry for when he leaves for a trip is also a friendship like no other. Here we match on various additional levels, and I intend to spend the rest of my life with him. Thank heavens I met him. Our attachment is unrestricted, I allow myself to go to a vulnerable place with him. The thought of his many kindnesses still melt me and arouse me.

also from http://www.myspace.com/morisona

push-ups master nicknames

This post is a long time in coming, I'm finally getting around to it. It's been one I've intended to do for a while. With winter here, there's a little more time. I wanted to highlight some pictures we took this summer showing off a new friend's favorite sex position: push-ups. I'll focus in this post primarily on the guy with the obvious top energy. My other friend, longtime brother-friend flirt, appears in many of my posts.

I don't show faces of those of us who aren't yet ready. In the future I'll be posting more of my own face and videos, once I have more independent employment and income, for the meantime this is a good compromise I think. :) 

It's funny because my new friend could go by several names. He could be sexy construction pounder, or skilled outdoors go-getter, push-ups master with the guys, depending on what characteristic was desired emphasized. The descriptive "names" are best generally flattering, knowing that often the recipient will be reading about themselves, and, I hope, smiling.

My friend could also be: ready nature nudist, sparky nude sun-bather, man's-man no bullshit sweetie, playful randy nature lover.

Favorite positions change with time and mood. What was once our preferred way might morph or become boring, only to be re-discovered later. That's one of the great things about sex and intimacy: exploring. It's one of the places where we can be playful, discover, be intimate, alive.

Some of the nicest photos come from natural poses. Better said, not posed at all, and people just doing things they would do naturally. Here nature nudist sun-bather was just relaxing while I fiddled with my camera, doing one of the things he loves: soaking up the sun on bare skin. It made a great shot. So un-posed is often a winner.

Another random thing I learned is that odds and ends items get left in pictures, sometimes spoiling a picture. Like shoes, a water bottle, a backpack. Then I have to crop them out. Or they ruin an beautiful mountain water sunset. There's so much to capture as a photographer, and I get so drawn into the bodies, that I sometimes don't see the "clutter" in the pictures until I'm at home looking on my computer at the pictures. And assistant would be useful, another set of eyes to catch things that could be manipulated.

One of the sexiest things for me is seeing men embrace, and watching their hands. Hands tell alot about what is going on, the energy that's flowing. Kindness and love mixed with lust is such a potent combo!

I had to include one more push-ups picture. The closed fists, possibly missed in viewing, for a look at the cock, nonetheless imply power and strength from the periphery. Virility. Something we're all attracted to.

And finally a magical almost-sunset picture. I love the two heads together. There's passion and frenzy, but there's also awareness of eachother and sweet intimacy.

The world is a better place for moments like these.

newness every day

Aussie Cutie

Part of what keeps me feeling alive is experiencing something new every day. I get excited and feel happy.

Today I tried some new stretches with a stretch band behind my back, and doing a hand-stand at the front of my routine.

Yesterday I put new flannel sheets on our bed, had some great intimacy again with Twenty Something Foreign Bi-Sexual, and tried my new purple double-dildo on myself.

Sunday I went to a friends' party with a gazillion toddlers and saw Christmas lights around a beautiful round-about in the rain with My Beautiful Man, and had a paper-and-pencil writing-communicating exercise with him that was difficult but good, covering new territory.

Satruday I went to a workshop on non-violent communication and with my Partner attended our first photography class together.

All while maintaining a work schedule and the regulars.

I think that there are many personality types like mine. And, not to be misunderstood, I DO value the consistency of my Partner for a lifetime, a schedule that's predictable, a home to come home to. These things bring great solace. Other personality types are a blessing and a compliment.

Still, keeping it fresh and new, in little ways every day, is enlivening to me.

Aussie Cutie allowed me to post these two pictures, from dudesnude - sydney1971. Thank you.
These photos out in Nature are magical.

yey washington

Jane and Pete-e celebrate their marriage this weekend
35 years together

I have the extremely good fortune of having moved to Washington, where gay marriage was approved by a majority of mainstream voters last month. This is for the first time in U.S. history. Previously in other states it has been by a legislative or judiciary vote, but not by a voter referendum. Maryland and Maine also recently approved gay marriage by popular vote. This is what makes it so significant to me, and melts my heart. No wonder I've been happy this weekend, as the newspaper headlines highlight beautiful people in love getting married. At long last. Thank you compassionate people of Washington. I wouldn't have guessed that this move would have meant so much to me, and that I would be at the heart of a historic space for "my people" and all people. A triumph for love.

no sugar day 75

Today is day 75 of no processed sugar.

It started when a good friend of my partner had liposuction to the tummy. He works out a lot, but also enjoys his high fructose jams, breads and pastries. Still I'd always dismissed the idea of lipo for myself until a close friend had it. He's still numb three months out, as expected. We're all waiting with interest for the six month mark when the numbness is supposed to go away.

I've generally been a believer of non-invasive methods before invasive ones. Of nutritional and lifestyle changes before drugs and surgeries. Even what other people would consider drastic changes in intake. If I ever were to do lipo, I'd want to have tried for a good long while all other non-invasive methods of abdominal fat reduction, like eating well for a year and exercising consistently, and researching ramifications for old age, poor scenarios, etc.



around day 15

A radio program on sobriety got me thinking that I could go "sober" of just about anything. Even temporarily or as an experiment. I thought, why not processed sugar?

So here I am, day 75. No refined sugar in anything. Not in bread, ketchup, sauces, jams, cereal, anything. That means no deserts - or at least not the added-sugar kind. I CAN eat fruits, molasses, grade B pure maple syrup, and sugar in its natural forms. It requires me to be prepared and be creative. While everyone pulls out their ice-cream, I pull out my mangos. Or kiwis, coconut, fennel, raisins, currants, banana, whatever.

Exceptions have only been when eating at someone's home, and they make something for us with love - and I don't want to go through the hassle of explaining my peculiarity. I've had a slice of carrot cake, a home-made ginger beer, and some Thanksgiving homemade treats. For that I subtracted those 5 days. I'd technically be on day 80 if I hadn't. I'm glad I partook in these gifts - and at the same time hope that these exceptions are minimal to non-existant.

I've noticed exciting adjustments in my body. I feel sexier and heartened at my personal accomplishment. I've also moved closer to a paleo diet in increasing meats and plants, decreasing grains, breads and pastas, though oatmeal and quinoa are still favorites. I have to eat more frequently and plan ahead, but I feel energized overall.

exercise variety

This picture comes from a Burning Man email newsletter. I'm hoping to go again next year. Besides being beautiful, it seg-ways into a couple random thoughts. Exercise can get boring if one does the same thing all the time - but there are an endless world of possibilities to keep it fresh. The above pic is one example. I'm looking forward to checking into a few possible circus-like gyms locally. Today for cardio I danced. Total feel-good. The possibilities are about as infinite as creativity. (Gymnastics, paddle-boarding, fucking without cumming for a while, wrestling, yoga, tai chi, dancing of various types - youtube is a fun motivator, running, biking, rowing, speed-lifting, power-stretching, hiking with a heavy pack, swimming, joining a soccer team, water polo team, and so on.)

user only?

A couple of days ago I had a sexual experience that left me feeling yuck. I played with zero body fat sculpted sensualist and later his partner yelling rough-guy user. The later especially kept instructing me on what he liked and wanted me to do for him. But never once asked what I liked or attempted to "dance" with me. Even being horny and in the middle of things, I sensed that I wanted out, and with a bit of effort did. Fortunately he came quickly too.

What percentage of your encounters do you spend taking, and what percentage do you spend giving? For some guys it's all about themselves. He thinks primarily about what he's gonna get. And not much about what the other guy is getting, experiencing, liking. I have to say that I'm usually more interested in equality. Energy flowing both ways. Sex like a well-paired wrestling match or dance. Give and take. It's useful to step back and look at the amounts of time you're granting him and yourself. Hopefully it's close to 50 - 50.

I realize that some people LIKE being used, or experiencing a one-way energy, or all sorts of other variations. Until those wants are communicated though, I think it is best to assume that a more consensual and egalitarian play is wanted. Consideration and thoughtfulness go a long way with most of us! It's not the specific act that's as important as the intention.