A couple of days ago I had a sexual experience that left me feeling yuck. I played with zero body fat sculpted sensualist and later his partner yelling rough-guy user. The later especially kept instructing me on what he liked and wanted me to do for him. But never once asked what I liked or attempted to "dance" with me. Even being horny and in the middle of things, I sensed that I wanted out, and with a bit of effort did. Fortunately he came quickly too.
What percentage of your encounters do you spend taking, and what percentage do you spend giving? For some guys it's all about themselves. He thinks primarily about what he's gonna get. And not much about what the other guy is getting, experiencing, liking. I have to say that I'm usually more interested in equality. Energy flowing both ways. Sex like a well-paired wrestling match or dance. Give and take. It's useful to step back and look at the amounts of time you're granting him and yourself. Hopefully it's close to 50 - 50.
I realize that some people LIKE being used, or experiencing a one-way energy, or all sorts of other variations. Until those wants are communicated though, I think it is best to assume that a more consensual and egalitarian play is wanted. Consideration and thoughtfulness go a long way with most of us! It's not the specific act that's as important as the intention.
I like both! I like to be pleasured but I also want the other person to feel good.
ReplyDeleteI have come across a lot of encounters that weren't great though. Bad breath/BO, too pushy, like a dead fish, wants it bareback the first time we meet, didn't douche (I don't normally mind but I have met some real 'dirty' guys), looks nothing like their profile picture... the list goes on.