shadow



Our friend Wiz Even-Keeled Sexy Man
at Burning Man.

A shadow is defined in dictionary.com as: 1. a dark image or shape cast on a surface by the interception of light rays by a body, 9. an inseparable companion, 12. (in Jungian psychology) the archetype that represents man's animal ancestors. 

Yet another school of thought defines shadow as: those parts of oneself that one does not always see clearly.

This weekend I had the opportunity to host a person dear to me, and I ended up making her cry. Let's call her Beautiful Brown-Eyed Triathlete. It's since caused me alot of thought. And sickness to my stomach. Damn I can be gruff sometimes.

animal names

A few years ago I attended an experiential men's training. In one guided visualization I saw clearly a deer. That has since been my animal name. I also saw what I later learned was my shadow animal: black bear.

running deer 

Characteristics of the deer to which I feel some affinity: gentle, wide-eyed, alert, timid, highly sensitive to changing energies - for safety and survival, free, groupie, quiet, earthy, ancestral, magical.

black bear

Characteristics of the bear to which I feel some affinity when in my shadow energy, which often surprise me: fierce, unpredictable, ready to swipe out an enemy - real or perceived, loner, lumbering, withdrawing into a dark cave to hibernate, destructive.


In this dualism I am at times bewhildered. Rejecting the shaming of Western religions, I still recognize though that my body feels misaligned when I have acted ungracefully towards my relations. That my actions have not been congruent with my life mission. I try to be gentle with myself. Yet see things cleary. Now I am left to do the work of sorting out how I will do things differently next time. To put back in union the loves which are dear to me. To await the hopeful forgiveness. And to be forgiving when others act like a lumbering black bear - including myself.

The deer and the bear need loved.

 

pictures near Death Valley, California