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| dildo on the dresser |
Is there a correlation between said morality and dick size and response? I think so.
size
A previous boyfriend had all these rules about our intimacy. No touching below the waist. Pants stay on until we'd been dating for some time. If we ever got to oral, it would be with a condom. But he loved to kiss, talk sweetly, and be close. I'll call him
hottie tall guy who broke my heart. A few times he got pretty horny and started to reach into my pants and disrobe me. I asked him if he wanted to break his own rules. My thinking was that I didn't want him to break his own rules in the heat of the moment, to later regret it. I wanted to support him in his goals - even if they weren't mine. I wanted him to do things conscioulsy.
He has a very small erect penis. And I'm not just saying that because it didn't work out between us (hehe). I wonder how much of his hesitation in whipping it out had to do with his self-consciousness about it being smaller than average. I think alot. Another intimate friend,
marathoner pecs guy who turned me on like the energizer bunny, also has a smaller penis. Not that I care. He was so hesitant at first, not letting me touch his cock, but totally grabbing mine, and loving our physical intimacy. We ended up playing several dozen times. Way fun. Once he saw that I totally digged him, ALL of him, his cock hesitance disappeared. I loved his new confidence.
How many times do guys resist certain revealing sexual activities, primarily because of their dick size? They might cite moral obligations, STD fears, a desire to wait... but if they had a bigger dick - all or most of these cited excuses might be thrown out the window. I've met enough guys that I often take recitations of morality with a grain of salt. "Ah," I think, "he might be a bit shy about...." whatever.
As an ocassional nudist, I am surprised by how many gorgeous gym-bunny guys really show off their bodies, being almost nude at pools, outside, but will not take off that last piece of underwear. While citing that they wished they had the confidence to take it all off. Perhaps their dick does not reach their measurement of perfection? If their cock was bigger, would they take off that cute little speedo?
Then again, my friend
monster cock chatty narcisist cutie, keeps his shorts on for exactly the opposite reason, everyone looks at his unit. He has nothing to be embarrased of, nice body, etc, but is.
Which leaves me thinking, wouldn't it be nice if more of us learned to love what we've got? Be good with it? That confidence is sexy.
I'm not especially good-looking, not esepcially large or small in penile length, not ugly, but not model-like. I'm fit but not especially photogenic like some guys are. I don't have stunningly wide shoulders, a trim waist, a bubble butt, a pretty-boy face. Often though I get what I want, who I want, or the experience that I want, because I make up for it in confidence. Or I seek them out. Please believe me too that the opposite is often true. I often don't get what I want, who I want, or the experience that I want - that time. Generally, even when I feel a bit shy, or not particularly sexy, I go ahead and act as if I did, and then it comes. Confidence and sexiness are traits. Not just physical beauty.
Another friend I work with,
overweight young go-getter with killer attidtude, gets almost any guy he wants, in my judgement, because of his confidence. It not that he's nice, in fact he comes across as kind of a dick sometimes. And he's pretty fat. Just saying. Many guys are super drawn to him. He gets laid by twinks, muscle guys, average guys, short guys, tall guys, younger and older. He doesn't give his power to anyone. I love hanging out with and working with him. Admirable guy.
erections
I think the same about many "moral" resistances when it comes to erections. I've met many guys who might verbally say they don't do this or that. Judgmental about guys who do. All until they get an erection. Some guys don't get erections easily. This might have to do with age. Or tightly-wound self-judgments. Or a rapid mind that can tend to hijack the body's natural responses. Or past experiences. Or medical conditions, usage of some chemicals, and other reasons.
For whatever reason, when a guy feels like he's not being judged, by others, but also by himself, things seem to work quite naturally downstairs. Often. And in instances when not, it helps to remember that all sorts of fun and intimacy can be experienced still. Letting go of fixation on things working
one way - hard cock - in-and-out of anus - releases one to experience beauty and divine play in a whole bunch of other ways.
My point is though, that alot of guys
resist or
judge because of their own erection response, even when they cite a whole bunch of other reasons. Omitting the real reason: it's hard for me to get/sustain an erection, I'm embarrassed about my penis size, whatever. Whether participation in a polyamorous venture, hooking up, or chasing the guy they'd like to go after, judgments often have to do with own personal insecurities.
Not rocket science here.
room for morality?
So is there room for morality? I think there IS room for values, guidelines, and spirituality. But please spare me the self-righteousness! Often morality judges, punishes, and excludes. If you find yourself resisting something strongly, take a look inside first and see if it comes from one of your self-messages, wounds, or insecurities. If you didn't have that insecurity, how different would you act?
My perception is that many people's stated behaviors are much different than their wished behaviors.
other insecurities
Other insecurities people have, sound or not, are around testicle size, chest conditions, hair patterns, skin pigmentations, anomalies, etc. A couple of friends have had a testicle removed, for cancer, or plumbing twisting.
Outdoors bearded 9-inch show-er replaced his missing testicle with a prosthetic, while
wild topping verbal fiend left just the one ball. I'll stop here for now, but you can see that the list goes on.
