3rd orgy

Here's a few pictures of the 3rd orgy I organized. Pictures are only of the guys who wanted them at the very end. A few guys didn't want to have their pictures taken, and were behind the cameras. The pictures are kind of grainy, but you get the idea. A better camera with more rapid shutter speed is in the works.

Except for Superman Shoulders and Haircut, and myself, this was an entirely new crew. In front of the camera were also: Newfound Muscle Guy, Hollering Top-turned-Bottom, and Voracious College Athlete. Not pictured were Shy Indecisive Gorgeous Guy, and a couple other guys I don't remember at the moment. We had a pretty nice finale in the hot shower.

The cameras only came out, with permission, at the end for about 20 minutes. Most of the time we just played and enjoyed.

Again, I loved how nicely everyone got along. Some guys were more into each other, and enjoyed each other. There were enough guys for everyone. And about half the time everyone was playing with nearly everyone. Good times.

2nd orgy

Here are a couple of pics from the second orgy I organized last summer. We took pictures at the end for those who consented.

We had a handful of guys present: Friendly Great-Ass European Backpacker, Dancer Actor Animal-Top, Lanky Tall Vocal Bottom, my friend Superman Shoulders and Haircut, and myself. As you can see there were various body types, nipple sizes, sexual tastes, and so on, but it seems that everyone was able to squirm into something acceptable for them. Some of the hottest stuff, in my mind, is just the affectionate / lustful exploration. 

I don't own you, and other principles of love

There are several principles that allow us to function as a polyamorous couple. They are definitely not our creations, we've gotten then from others at workshops, circles, conversations, and books.

1. I don't own you. You don't own me. I don't own where your eyes look. I don't own your behaviors, or your emotions, your clothing choices. Just because we've chosen to be together doesn't mean that somehow I decide things for you or own you. Slavery ended a while ago. You are your own free person with your own emotions, choices, friendships, and sometimes sexual partners.
2. We don't ask permission. We let eachother know, coordinate, and plan. If I really want to do something - meet with someone, exercise for an hour, take a trip, eat a burger, I don't ask permission. I do it. Because we love each other and consider each other in our decisions, we want to tell each other, and arrange a time when its convenient for the both of us. Calendar. Schedule together. We consider ourselves two equal, powerful adults.
3. My psyche is no longer just me. You are a part of my psyche, we are a unit together. When I make decisions I want to accomodate you, and bring you happiness. As such, though the previous point sound really individualistic, and is, and remains true, it is tempered by the fact that you are a part of my thoughts and wants. You are in my mind and heart when I plan my life. I consult you.
4. I know what I want and I ask for it. I might not get it, but I ask for it, knowing that I'll be more likely to get it.
5. Radical communication. Frequently. We tell it like it is in our hearts. We don't preach at eachother, but we tell eachother what's going on for us. We do the hard work that it takes to make an excellent relationship. We take this risk, and become vulnerable to each other. We remain civilized, and have learned to speak in language without blame. This, perhaps more than anything, has paid big dividends and brought us amazingly close. Often we are surprised by what's going on in the other's heart and mind. And most often endearingly surprised. It's hard. It's worth it.
6. I want an excellent relationship. I won't settle for a mediocre relationship. In fact, I insist on an excellent relationship. I'm willing to do the work for it to be excellent between us.

7. Love is a decision, not just a feeling. Even when I don't feel like it, I'll treat you in loving respectful ways. Because I've decided that you're one that I love. And when I act lovingly I usually feel loving towards you.

8. Amazing = amazing. Unsatisfying = unsatisfying. According to the book Sex Diaries, most people that SAY they have amazing sexual relationships, really do have them, consistently. People that always say they have unsatisfying sex, dull relationships, confrontational ones, or elusive ones, really do have them, consistently. In short, the type of sex we have is often a reflection of our attitudes. Its a pattern the author noticed in the thousands of diaries she gathered. People usually don't have a huge mix of good and bad sexual experiences. They're usually either characteristically amazing, or characteristically unsatisfying, statistically.

down under to deep-voice

A couple of weekends ago we travelled and I had some awesome experiences.

First off we stayed the first night with Playful Nature Lover from Down Under. I met him a couple years ago on DN, and we had a memorable multi-day camping and hiking experience with a little group in the mountains. I'd looked forward to seeing him again, and he was playful and a gracious host as ever. My goodness, what a sweetie. My partner enjoyed meeting him and his company and conversation.

Night came and we all three got in bed dead tired, ready to sleep. I swear. But Down Under and I kept caressing and quietly running our fingers across eachother. Soon sleep left us. I reached down and held his massive thick hard erection. It was bigger than I had remembered. I'm not much of a size-queen, doesn't really matter to me, but I have to say I was impressed and the hornier. Meanwhile my partner slept or was trying to sleep, so we slipped into the living room and closed the bedroom door, since I knew it was going to get rythmically louder here in a bit.

It was nice to be able to talk a bit and express our fondness for seeing eachother again, while in super-sexual positions. Aargh. We enjoyed exploring and rubbing with our hands. After some time I wanted to be in him, so I asked, and he was eager. I would have been okay with whatever. Oh man, I thoroughly enjoyed fucking my friend Playful Nature Lover from Down Under in all sorts of positions on his couch. My favorite with him was close to him, him curled up in a ball under me, his ass providing heavenly entry, his sweet smiling eyes inches from mine. I came. Then without detaching rubbed his thick uncut cock the minute left it needed to explode too. He was quite vocal. Damn, so sexy. He fixed us a phenomenal breakfast with great views of the city the next morning. Man I'm blessed to have such a sweet friend.

By the afternoon I'd travelled by train and ferry to meet with other friends at a rented beach-house. Present were my Longtime Brother-Friend (we're not literally siblings), his boyfriend Sexy Sideburns New Porn Star, and a male-male couple I hadn't seen in years, who I was excited to see again: Tall Deep-Voice Academic and his Sweet Eyes Not-So-Innocent Good-Boy. I arrived and Tall Deep-Voice was plowing Sexy Sideburns in the shower. The other three of us sat on the couch and tried to chat and catch up, but the sex sounds from the bathroom were too distracting, we couldn't stop smiling and stopping to listen.

About an hour later we were all lounging around on the big bed glad to catch up and snuggle. Soon a couple shirts came off and two guys were rubbing hard-ons with their bodies. Energy changes quickly I guess. Within a few minutes there were five of us naked on the bed in various positions. What was interesting about this was that in my eight years of friendship with Longtime Brother-Friend this was our first time we'd allowed ourselves to be in a situation like this together. We had talked about it the week before, and decided to make the only rule in our friendship - communication. So we made out for a few seconds then both giggled at this new experience between us. It felt so refreshing to intentionally drop our previous parameters into this freedom.

Hands were grabbing everywhere, touching, exploring. It became a scene like in a porn video. Deep-Voice and I wanted to grab our cameras, but with lube on our hands and cocks already, and not wanting to miss any of the lovin' ourselves, we opted to be full participants instead. What a scene of joy and delight. This is when I feel so lucky to be a gay man. A gay man who can love in this way. Esteem my friends dearly, travel across the country to be with them, and have sex with them, then all lay down to spend the night together. And had a surprise-to-me connected sexual experience with Tall Deep-Voice. We'd jerked off before on camping trips, but this was more intimate. More affection and eye-contact, which previously made me nervous, but now I find so sweet with someone who dares return it. Opening myself to love.

We all later went to an underwear dance party - my first actually, and later came home to sleep. The next morning we enjoyed breakfast at a beachside cafe. I had a mild crush on our waiter, who the night before had almost joined us in our group fun. My, I can have mini-crushes on a handful of guys at the same time :). It used to perplex me, now I just go with it.

On the third night I got to sleep in my Love's arms for a couple hours before we had to hit the airport early. I got in a nap and went to work. After a good-night's rest I was able to have a great sexual connection with The Man I Adore mid-morning.

It was a full weekend where I especially enjoyed my friends in beautiful close ways. I don't have that expectation, and it would have been good even without sex, but it sure was nice, and I'm open to it happening again!

everyone's got their story

Everyone's got their story, the story that goes on inside their head.

Last night I had a phenomenal several hours with Sensual Vocal Midwest Dad. We went upstairs and explored a variety of positions and holds on the couch and the carpet. After we both orgasmed we spent possibly an equal amount of time holding and getting acquainted in conversation. He's sexy slender, I'm totally into him. He mentioned having felt self-conscious growing up, and not wanting to take his shirt off back then, feeling uncomfortable with his body. Wow, I think. The sight of him turns me on, as I'm sure to many other guys. I'm glad to see that he feels differently now.

He mentioned that a couple of years ago he wouldn't have approached someone like me. Ha, I think, someone like me? I'm slightly flattered, but also amused because the story inside my head is quite different. The story of my childhood still speaks loudly, though its being replaced. I think of myself as the fat boy, the one who couldn't do very many sit-ups and could barely run the mile. The one who weighed 50 pounds more than I do now as a teenager, and one who still now has to watch carefully what I eat most of the time since I gain weight so easily. I now really enjoy being in shape and doing my best to feel sexy. It's a work in progress. But the old story in my head is not far away.

One of my close friends has a beautiful body with a nice ass and coveted-by-many cock. He knows this brings attention from many guys, but feels otherwise inadequate. I'm not sure exactly what the story in his head is, but I'm often surprised at his shyness and statements he makes about himself.

On a recent trip to Argentina at a posh gay hotel I sat at the poolside admiring, among others, a "perfect" dark-haired tall guy in a red speedo. His face was beautiful, his muscles supple, skin bronzed. A ballsy muscley friend went up and talked to him, sat next to him. When I went up and spoke with them I was surprised to encounter Mr. Red Speedo Greek God as a shy French-accented cutie. The story in his head probably ran something like: "I'm not good enough. Damn I'm nervous. I wish I felt more confident." I had assumed that what I perceived as his outer perfection might equate with confidence or even arrogance. Neither was the case. Possibly as a kid he was different from now, judging himself as "too... this - or - that." Now even though he's made himself into a picture of fitness, the old tapes still likely play in his head. Who knows. But I assume he hasn't yet made the transition into being his own best self-mentor. Benevolent self-respecting tapes - or messages - in his head are still being re-written - hopefully.

And a swimmer roommate of mine a few years ago, despite his beauty, re-played often in his head his supposed physical imperfections. He commented on various features of his which he thought disqualified him from being beautiful. Most gay guys looking at him would have disagreed.

Everyone's got their story. I try to remember this as I approach guys. It helps me not be so nervous. It teaches me, if I am to influence others, to start with myself and be my own best champion. To let my own internal dialogue be honoring and blessing. And from that grounded place be honoring and blessing to others. Maybe if he sees through my eyes his greatness, he can - on his own - see it too.

my beautiful life with him

Yesterday I woke up mid-morning, like I do when I work late. I put on some boxers and was about to go upstairs to connect with The Man I Adore, with whom I have the good fortune of being partnered. He'd heard my footsteps and come down. We greeted and kissed. I told him I wanted to spend some time together with him. Could we cuddle under the covers? - our bed wasn't made yet.

We crawled in and spooned and talked. Changed positions a couple times. Caught up from the weekend since I'd been gone one night, and our work schedules kept us apart for a couple days. One of the things I like about Him is that he expresses love and affection daily, especially if we're horizontal. But also all the time. Words get to my heart, and I have found someone whom I can gift my love too. We expressed love and gratitude for eachother, and then the energy shifted to a powerful sensation originating in the groin, running up and down the body from there. The making out picked up the new vibe. I remain conscious of not letting this new energy take over and become urgency. Of riding it and remaining communicative, and letting this delicious physicality bring us closer, not just turn inward into greediness. Staying present to Him.

I took his clothes off and my boxers off, which delighted him. Our boners are at high attention. And seeing his only excites me more. I crawl on top of him and descend into his open arms. It's like coming home. The rythms get going gently. I grab the lube at the bedside table and put on both of our cocks. This always excites him even more. My or his hand hold our cocks as we pseudo-fuck, slightly altering leg and arm holds frequently.

We stay in touch with our eyes, whispering sweet gratitude truths, kissing often. We've consciously decided to be awake to eachother, and also to enjoy sex from the perspective of abundance - that it's always available, it's not going to run out, there is no hurry or scarcity. Release expectations and delight in what's unfolding.

I have him in a wrestling-pin-like position under me and hump him until I cum. His hand holding my cock warmly. We penetrate less often than other couples I think. I take him to completion with my hand - and kissing - shortly. Then we throw a little towel between us to soak up the yummyness on our abs, and relax in eachother's embrace. This is as amazing as the pre-ejaculation eagerness and the orgasm. Gentle talking and moments of silence intersperse. I lay listening to his heart. Man I love Him.

We get up, I exercise while he cooks - in the same big room. We enjoy listening to pandora's selection of musicals, we're going to one later this week. We eat a delicious lunch he's made, and I'm off to work. He's sitting at the edge of the bed, and after putting on my socks, I kneel to tell him my truth: I have such a dream life with him. Its better than any dream I could have invented. A goodbye kiss. He sends me away with food for my shift, and when I open it later at work I'm flooded with warmness for Him.

Really, what a beautiful life I have with The Man I Adore.

orgy with 18

Have you ever gone around smiling, unable to tell others why you are smiling?

I organized my fifth orgy at my place, and had the largest turn-out yet. Previously the largest turn-out was 8 guys. This last time was 18!

I have a partner that I love, a very satisfying sex life, and I am very committed to him. So part of me wonders - what is it that I am looking for? Why do I continue to seek intimacy and adventure with others? What drives me to go through all the work to organize, host, find, interact with, invite, and screen all these guys for a group experience? Part of it is an unquenchable desire for intimacy and closeness with other good people. Part of it is newness, though more and more that is newness of person, not necessarily specific act. I love meeting new people and experiencing them, and experiencing life together. I like creating community. I like creating new out-side-the-box experiences. Heck, and I like sex!

A few things I did differently this time. After we had about 8-9 guys there I had them introduce themselves and what they wanted and didn't want. Like: "I'm really looking to get fucked a few times tonight. I LOVE to bottom. And I can't stand shit. The smell of it sends me running." We got a few good laughs, and the rawness of the sharing was refreshing and contagious. Then we took off our clothes and got started getting frisky. There's always the bold ones that jump right in. And the shy ones that sit back nervously, but then get hard and jump in, or get approached gently by another guy who comes and sits next to them.

This was the most conversational group I'd ever had. Chatty actually sometimes. While the lights are dimmed and the naked bodies squirming. I was glad they felt comfortable together, but actually hoped they'd talk less for a while since that sometimes dampens the eroticism. They explored and enjoyed some time before anyone penetrated. Soon enough two then three and four were fucking, moaning, and sending everyone aroused smiling. I have some great mirrors that people liked too.

I spent a good amount of time answering the outside door and receiving and answering texts from arriving guys. Last time I limited the entrance time to one hour, this time no limit. Next time I want to trade off with one to two other guys to answer the door - so that I can get some quality uninterrupted sex time :).

About half the guys were model-like beautiful - and the other half of us more boy-next-door beautiful. I was attracted to several, and made sure to spend time with Hairy Muscle Guy, Thin Blue-Eyed Bearded Wonder, Gymnast Sexy Bottom, Nervous Bubble-Butt Jock, and Shy Ripped Shoulders Dude. I didn't get around as much as I'd liked to to Energizer-Bunny Top, Good Friend with Piercings, partnered with Smooth-Head Military Young Guy, and Buzzed Head Lying on His Back.

Another few things I intended differntly: I wanted more guys in their 40's and late 30's. Traditionally most of the guys are in their 20's. I wanted the additional wealth of experience and increased life vocabulary brought to the bedroom by my peers. We had 3 guys in the 40's, great additions and energy, and sexy as could be. I had the honor of being embraced with Shy Ripped Shoulders Dude which eventually led to both us us cumming. I envisioned a group with more friendliness, perhaps guys that would get together socially too, and guys that I could call friends and relate with in more ways than naked. Good conversations, principled people, kind and blessing in their physical demonstrations. Just the very act of intending this at the outset I think invited more of this energy that evening and after.

Insatiable Bottom Friend came late and stayed the night with me. He came late enough that he only got pounded once by Good Friend with Piercings, and then in the morning by me. Was nice to wake up naked with Bottom Friend in my bed, run my hands up and down his trim back, grind my hard cock gently before inserting with a condom. I did my best to avoid cumming for several cycles. He came first on all fours, his favorite position. I let myself cum phenomenally. Was nice to talk and cuddle with him again. Maybe next time we'll have an optional cuddle sleep-over for those who want.

I screen for social normalcy, getting along with others, low drama, attractiveness. The guys don't have to be models, heck I'm not, but at least sufficiently fit and proportionate. And, let's face it, there are alot of outrageously sexy guys. I'm often amazed at how many attractive guys there are, just by the asking. I try not to think that people are in different leagues from eachother.

I also took great joy in watching the guys - after cumming - sitting in eachother's arms talking, carressing eachother's faces, running their fingers over their butts or chests. I was pleased to see them exchange phone numbers. And pleased to receive their grateful texts and see that they were interacting with eachother even the very next day. More love in the world. More happiness. More friendship - and good people coming together. Sexy - philosophical - like-minded guys finding eachother.

Was  a great night and worth the effort and time in planning and communicating. Looking forward to inviting most of the guys back for the next time, plus a few others.

he looking at me

A while ago I was jogging with Bearded Sexy Hiker. We were discussing how to deal with having told your partner a million times not to do something - and they're still doing it. And how to get over it. Mine was asking my partner to get his clothes ready the night before - and leave them in the bathroom to get dressed there. We sometimes have different schedules, and I need my sleep. But at the time he continued to come in and out of the bedroom getting dressed, getting things, waking me multiple times.

I explained how frustrated I was. I explained how many times I'd told my partner.

My new observant friend made an observation that softened my heart. He said, "knowing K, he's probably going into the bedroom and getting dressed watching you, appreciating you. He likely just wants to be near you." In an instant I pictured my Love standing there looking at me sleeping, adoring me, and my heart melted. He likely was doing that. Knowing him, and his heart, and where his eyes go, I decided to appreciate him back, even if he woke me in the mornings.

My reminders nearly stopped. An occasional reminder was given gently and with loving gratitude for my deer-eyed sweet-heart. And then he started getting dressed in the bathroom, leaving me to sleep, only to come and kiss me goodbye on his way out to work. Man I'm a blessed man. But even if K hadn't done what I asked, my perspective changed as I viewed my partner as he really is - an adoring man free of malice and full of simple love. Not forgetful and uncaring. Just watching me gratefully and appreciating me. Simply. God I'm lucky.

And I'm lucky for intuitive friends like Bearded Sexy Hiker. Thank you.