flirt but no

I find it unsettling to have a guy flirt, but then push away. Talk about sex, gaze into the eyes, touch lightly in public settings, but then pull away when I sit close. A total mind-fuck. Some guys don't even realize they're doing it.

 

Conversely, I get the tremendous satisfaction from a guy that's into me, and vice versa. That's part of the joy of intimacy for me. That's part of the magic.

A while back we went to a gay strip bar in Key West, Florida. There were beautiful Russian guys dancing almost naked standing on the bar. I'm not nervous at a bathhouse, or a naked beach, but I found myself being nervous to enter. The thought of someone interested in me only for money might have been part of it. Too much thinking perhaps. Somehow I want whatever sexual or intimate experience to be genuine. Sensing sincere excitement, or lust, or desire is hot. Without it I'm not game.

There's all sorts of flirting going on. Some guys flirt for advantage. Some guys flirt to engage. Flirting is communication, and I prefer it when people send signals consistent with what their intentions are.