sacred sexuality discussion group

The concept of sacred sexuality is surely not a new one. Many of us perceive this in our experience. So I was intrigued when I heard of a local discussion group on the topic. I decided to go and find out what this group was like.

The Center for Sex Positive Culture hosts a monthly discussion on sacred sexuality. It takes a skillful facilitator to honor everyone present and bring enough creativity to the room to involve everyone in ways that are refreshing and central to why the people are there. I enjoyed the age diversity, that there was alot of white and grey hair in the room, a sign of potential wisdom and blessing energy. I noted that seven of the ten people were obese or morbidly obese. I liked their frankness.

A few ideas I heard:

• the inclusion of ritual, and the imbuing or calling down certain energies or archetypes into certain objects like a dildo or pillow
• a marriage contract of limited duration
• the use of rope around the wrists in certain wedding ceremonies throughout the world - and its imagery
• the inclusion of both light and dark energies in sex
• my own personal reaffirmation that where there is a void or a need I/we have the opportunity to stop waiting for someone else to fill it, and step in and fill it ourselves... be our own best teacher - mentor - guider of meditations - leader of groups we wish existed - instigator...

One story I'll share:

An exotic soft-spoken woman spoke of being in college years ago. In this all-women dorm, a young female yearned for her lover that was posted in a foreign military post. She missed him dearly. He had left, as token of his memory, a bottle of his cologne. And instructed her, that when she missed him, that she pull out the bottle of cologne and smell him. And remember him, call his image forth, and gain strength.

One particularly difficult evening she found herself missing him terribly. She didn't know if she could do it alone. She gathered her dorm-mates and asked them for a special favor. Would they spray a little bit of that cologne on them, and hold her? And let her remember him?

They agreed. She closed her eyes, and they took turns holding her. And whispering sweet nothings in her ears. It turned into a very sacred moment. Some kissed her on the neck, and on the lips.

The woman recounting this story says that she now identifies as lesbian. But to her knowledge none of the other women identify as lesbian. Yet they shared in this sacred, unsolicited way, spontaneous, a treasured space. She marvelled at this moment.

I marvelled when I heard it.