what to do with all this sex energy?

yesterday's self-photo-shoot,
inspired by shares with dual-continent skyper

? ? ?  That's the answer.

But here are a few (9) attempts to answer that question...

• Don't judge it. Notice it. See with interest how it affects my life in various ways.
• Use it. It's a lot of energy. Sex energy can also be at the center of creation, connection, wildness, power, embodiment. Find additional ways to allow its flow. Like fire, it can be a force for both destruction and creation. I can be aware of this and try to influence it in conscious directions.

 

• Allow it time. Give it time in your day to manifest directly. Like a tyrant child, it can tantrum and side-ways communicate until it is heard. It too has its needs and wisdom. Really. Many of us are born with a tremendous energy in this realm. After it has been fully honored, remind it that there are other players in your life. Then move on.
• Increase penetration time. Yup. If you think about fucking all the time... when you fuck, don't be over it so fast! Studies show that the average penetration time for men is about 2 minutes. No wonder we go about thinking about it all the time! Maybe even look at the clock and go for 10 minutes, 30 minutes. If it's not penetration, it could be something else, like holding, frottage, hand grasping his cock, you decide.

 

• Be conscious of the time used that amps up sex energy - like online viewing, grindr-ing, etc. Notice how your body and presence feels. Is this what I want to be doing? Sometimes its okay, sometimes its not.
• Be creative: give it an outlet to flow, like writing a blog (that's part of why I do this blog), photographing, loving and connecting in ways that are satisfying to you, hopefully working in a way that aligns with your gifts and mission, drawing, rowing with a team, joining a gay swim league, dancing, attending certain events. The possibilities are infinite.

 

• If its something you love, find a way to do more of it, in ways that align with your other life values and commitments. Change things that need changing.
• Release rigid expectation. Take joy in a lot of different expressions. Don't be too set on one specific act, like bottoming, a certain partner, a certain location. Be willing to take enjoyment in the million other ways it could look, like non-penetrative fun, skyping, reading a diagrams book with your partner, your local masturbation club, volunteering. Adapt and find joy in a lot of expressions.

 

• Be in your body. A lot of us with high sex drive are very alive in our body. Join a circus class, yoga, drumming, ecstatic dance, run in the elements, swim, balance on the bars. Our body likes to feel alive and powerful. It likes new things. This is part of the rush we get in sex. It is also had in many ways. I think many men feel a subconscious need to use their bodies.