bathhouses

ancient roman bath houses

I love bathhouses. And bathhouses are weird. At least the ones I've been to.

On the one hand I get to go whenever I feel like sex. I don't have to organize it. In my last city I organized a few orgies, and each of them took several hours of planning - from 20 to 40 hours - no kidding.

Would you rather do 20 hours of organizing or just drive downtown in 15 minutes?

A gay bathhouse - at least here - is a place where guys go looking for a sex directly. There are long dimly-lit hallways with scores of rooms that are rented, each with mirrors and streaming porn. There are also more common play areas, from simple couches, to shower areas, steam rooms, saunas, and rooms with equipment like slings and benches, or holes and cubbies.

Mostly its an impersonal place. For those of us who can see passed that, there are incredible moments of closeness to be had.

Sometimes I feel like a jerk in a bathhouse.

The rules of engagement are so different from the outside. In the outside world, if someone says hi, you say hello back, maybe smile and chit-chat. Here most communication is done non-verbally, at least at first.

erotic fountain in Pompeii

There are so many guys, and attraction only goes both ways with a certain percentage, that you communicate with your eyes one of two things: interest or disinterest. Admittedly snap-judgment. People get it generally. Occasionally there is that pushy guy who keeps trying to grab your junk, or whatever, and you have to tell him no directly. But the vast majority are gentlemen and respectful non-verbally.

The last time I went a new younger guy, possibly 70 lbs (32 kg) overweight, walked past me and started making conversation. On the outside world I'd have paused and conversed. Here, he was one of dozens of potential encounters, all sending out feelers, so I kept the answer short and kept walking. And I felt like a jerk.

Large numbers of people. Quick assessments. Uber-practical environments devoid of elegance.

I went on to find a friend I've met there before a handful of times before, passionate bisexual guy that loves to top, and we had a fucking amazing time.

I've heard that gay bathhouses in other countries, like some in Europe, have more social components. Some have a clothed café area, lockers for guests to stay overnight, well-lit and beautiful saunas and steam rooms, lobbies, and then the more directly sexual areas. I look forward to experiencing the variety and a fuller range of energies welcome.

I love gay bathhouses on the one hand. And at the same time they are social anomalies.