engage and dis-engage

to connect or to separate

At times I go over-board on social websites. Sex websites. Too much time, and I notice my energy changing. Then I have to pull back.

I heard on a radio interview that life can be a balancing act between going outward to connect, and then going inward to re-connect. Neither energy is wrong. Both are desirable.

One cannot always be in a constant state of connection with others. At one point, frequently, one has to dis-engage and re-coup. Be with oneself.

I found myself feeling high-strung and hyper-sexual in a way that felt ungrounded. This after higher-than-normal-for-me online presence on sex sites. Knowing that various other activities ground me, like playing my newfound ukulele, I decided to make a goal that I would practice my ukulele for an hour before viewing - for 10 minutes only. A goal I could stick with for one week.

The bonus of improving on the uke also had the intended calming effect. I felt more present to some of the other things and beings that are important.

Goals are written on a phone app (my current command center). I peruse it several times a day for lists and communications.

This week the goals are yoga stretches for 20 min and self-love poetry. Other weeks they've been gratitude recollections and what I call emotional blue-printing. Little course corrections.

enjoying a lake not far away